I was away for a holiday break in Clare and Kerry recently and I discovered a distinct lack of awareness of the English language among some of the catering and hospitality people.
Our first stop on our journey south was in a midlands town where we stopped for some light sustenance at lunch time because we had booked dinner for later in the evening and only wanted a snack to keep us going. We visited what looked like a nice restaurant, took our seats and enquired about the possibility of getting two toasted special sandwiches and tea. The very pleasant attendant told us that they were only serving toasted specials with soup, crisps and salad. I told her that I did not want soup, crisps or salad. She had to consult with the chef. I was told that I could have tea instead of the soup, but all sandwiches were served with the crisps and salad. Reluctantly we agreed and so the sandwich was served with the added unwanted extras. When we were finished a girl came around to clean the table and asked us if we did not like salad and crisps.
And so, we proceeded on our journey and arrived on the west coast of County Clare. Having travelled around Clare the following day we visited a local hotel at lunchtime and asked for a simple sandwich and tea and believe it or believe it not we were given the same routine. Sandwiches are served with chips and salad and there was no way round it. When I said again that I did not want any appendages the girl looked at me aghast that I should question her choice of food for me. We assented and paid the inflated price for a plain sandwich with a processed slice of ham and cheese slice adorned with some wilted lettuce leaves and some crisps.
On day four we arrived in North Kerry, and we entered a well-known hostelry. I was taking no chances here and ordered the main fish course of the day, which was very tasty, while my wife ordered a toasted special with some tea. A very polite waiter explained the intricacies around ordering from the sandwich special menu and that they were all served with chips and salad. When she explained that she did not want the extras he said it was part of the meal. There was no point arguing and we assented to the extras.
In each case the crisps and salad were returned and presumed dumped. This was such profligate waste because some members of the catering world cannot understand the difference between what I want and not what they think I should have.
Finally on our way home we stopped in a midland’s town for a toilet, tea and scone stop. We sat down in a small restaurant attached to a supermarket and asked about having tea for two and two scones. The assistant pointed us in the direction of the bakery counter where we could see if there were any scones left. We found a pack of four which we brought over to her. We were duly charged for the tea and pack of four, given a cardboard dish, a knife, some butter and told to take our pick of the jams. We drank our tea, ate a scone each and proceeded home accompanied by two unwanted scones. Our garden birds had a treat the following morning.
I had a look in the mirror when I came in the door at home and discovered , I did not have ‘I love crisps and salad’ emblazoned across my forehead.
The more I travel around the country the more aware I become of the excellent five-star dining facilities we have at home here in the beautiful ,buzzing ,thriving, friendly town of Gorey. Pay it a visit and Bon Aperitif.
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