Influencers on my life. “Daoine a raibh tionchar acu ar mo shaol”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy 35th President of the USA

Looking back over my life, I find it difficult to rank the people and experiences that have shaped who I am. Yet some influencers stand out: my family, my teachers, Festival of Kerry volunteers’ group, The Vincent de Paul Society, Drama Group, CYMS, Tralee where we were involved in Tops of the town. Here we were led by Fr O Leary, an inspirational priest. He was a great leader who taught us the value of serving others. I really enjoyed The Tops and the buzz of The Festival and the role we played as stewards.

Family and early values

My parents, grandparents and extended family were the first to shape my thinking and attitude to life. They lived through troubled times during the First and Second World Wars, as well as the conflict in Ireland during the Civil War years, which they referred to as “the troubles”. Both sides of my family were actively involved, but my parents did not want to influence our political views as we grew up. Neither my sister nor I developed an interest in active political life. Instead, our parents instilled strong values in us: pride in ourselves, self-respect and respect for our friends. They led by example. My father was involved in local organisations, and both our parents encouraged us to take part in community life.

Teachers and a formative retreat

Our teachers also had a profound influence on us. They worked hard and encouraged us to achieve the best we could. I respected them all and remain grateful for the lessons they taught me about personal independence, tolerance, gratitude, good manners and keeping an open mind about life and society.

In fifth year at secondary school, we went on a three-day retreat with the Redemptorists in Limerick. They spoke to us about personal formation and loving our neighbours. We were not allowed to listen to the radio or read newspapers. This was long before mobile phones, so we were cut off from the outside world, with time to reflect on our lives and consider the road to adulthood.

At the end of the retreat, we were brought up to date with local and world news. John Fitzgerald Kennedy had been shot dead in Dallas during our spiritual confinement. We were shocked as he had only visited his homestead in Wexford in June 1963.

I still clearly remember the words from his 1961 inaugural address as the 35th President of the United States, asking people to think not of what their country could do for them, but of what they could do for their country. I loved that message and made it my motto for life.

A life of service with St Vincent de Paul

When we returned to school, our spiritual adviser, Fr McCarthy, visited us and spoke about Frederick Ozanam, who founded the Society of St Vincent de Paul in Paris in 1833 with a group of fellow students. Fr McCarthy explained that there were plans to establish a conference in our school in Tralee.

I joined that day and remained a member through my college years in Dublin and for a further 34 years in Arklow,in addition to being National Vice President for 14 years.Those were rewarding but hard working years, and they profoundly influenced my attitude towards other people. We learned about respecting other peoples’ lives and to speak with people without passing comment or judging them.

What I loved most was the Society’s emphasis on visiting people in their homes and listening to their problems, rather than simply giving money. At the end of each weekly meeting, our call to action was: “Let us go to the poor.” Ozanam believed that charity should involve genuine human contact, not merely the transfer of money. The organisation enabled thousands of ordinary people to offer advice and financial help every week.

Ozanam’s enduring example

Ozanam was born on 23 April 1813 and died on 8 September 1853, aged just 40, after battling tuberculosis. He was beatified by the Catholic Church in 1997.For me, Ozanam is a compelling example of someone who combined faith with a genuine concern for humanity. His legacy is powerful because he turned compassion into a practical, enduring movement that still serves people in need. Christmas places particular strain on the Society’s funds, prompting a special appeal for people to contribute generously..

The society is very active in Gorey, visiting and assisting many people. They also run a used furniture shop, clothing store and are involved in a housing project. All the money raised here goes towards alleviating poverty in the greater Gorey area.

Role models in a changing world

Like many of my generation, I feel lucky to have had good role models as I grew up. Our simpler lives, with fewer distractions, fostered neighbourliness, caring and sharing. It helped shape who we are. The values instilled in us then have stayed with us for life.

Today, I see too many political leaders pursuing power and wealth rather than serving others. In my view, people like Trump and his MAGA movement show little concern for those less well off. They are not the role models I would wish for young adults today.

In the technology-driven world of 2026, life is more complicated for families and young people. I am eternally grateful to those who taught me respect, compassion, service to those in need, and to speak to everyone in a respectful manner. I hope the example we leave the next generation will be measured not by what we gain, but by what we give.

I remember a line from the prayer of St Francis in which he says, “It is in giving we receive”. Let’s keep giving in kindness and financial help with smiles on our faces as we approach the festive season which puts unbearable financial pressure on many families.

Mick O Callaghan

13/11/202