There is little joy in growing old, some maturing people say
As they get stressed with the ageing process, trying to cope
With health, death of partners, accommodation
And who will look after their daily needs as they age
Their household and personal requirements
Finances, health issues, nursing home facilities
Or maybe they want to keep their own independence
Will family members pop in and assist with household chores
Will they be able to cook and mind the house
With assistance from home help and meals on wheels
What family member has space in their home where they can live for a while
Will they be able to get respite care when they need it.
Decisions, decisions, mostly out of older peoples’ control
They are really difficult decisions to be decided
Which put a strain on family relations
This can result in arguments and bitter feuds
Which are sometimes nasty and deeply wounding
Often caused by some simple silly remark
Or misrepresentation of some retort
Which should be left fly over people’s heads
Sadly, this does not happen on a regular basis
Forgiveness is often forgotten about
I am sorry, I regret what I said or why can’t people say
Sorry I misunderstood what you said or did
Instead of prolonged shouting and arguments
Followed by legal advisers and costly court cases
These bitter family feuds can go on for years and years
Causing more stress, anxiety and tears
This is so sad when a family member dies
And some other members refuse to attend
Wakes, reposing, masses, funerals or cremation services
Tensions are unfortunately unnecessarily risen
There are stern stressed looking countenances
When feuding members meet socially or on the street
Scowling and frowning and attempting avoidance
Eyes down, looking in the other direction
With every facial and body muscle tensed and stressed out
When a simple hello how are you?
Or warm embrace or a hug or handshake
Could soothe and resolve the nastiest of rows.
In my life I have seen family members excluded from wills
Court cases ensuing, arguments, fights and injuries
Even death and murder most foul
Caused by not getting a few acres of land
A bit of financial endowment or house in a will
And mental and physical stress continues to the grave and beyond.
Mick O Callaghan. June 2024
I love the chorus line of Ken Dodds song ‘Tears’ written in 1930 that goes ‘Let's forgive and forget,Turn our tears of regret ,Once more to tears of happiness’
Or as the American journalist, author and world peace advocate Norman Cousins [1915-1990] said ‘Life is an adventure in forgiveness’.
’What a great country and world we would have If we could have more forgiveness and less tears and regrets.
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